Thoughts

I have thought of missing you, 
Right before I even did so. 
I’ve thought of yesterday 
Bidding me goodbye, 
That now it waves at me 
Saying “hello”. 

I’ve thought of stars, winking at you, 
For me. 
I’ve thought of you, you only: 
If my head could reach 
Your very shoulders. 
When was the last time 
You wore high heels? 
How high angels really were up there? 
You are my tallest crush. 
And I miss you.

I wonder if goodbye would come, 
If I have helloed as often as I could. 
I wonder if I have missed you 
Years back, 23 years. 
I’ve thought of storms 
Pouring themselves out into rains, 
Departing, leaving their all: 
Piece after piece, emptying 
Into nothing. 
I want to be that one cloud completed. 
I want you as though 
You were the first dew 
Of dawn. 

I’ve thought of not writing for you, 
Before I even did so. 
I’ve thought of poetry and how come 
There had been a lot of poems 
Yearning 
For true love. 
When I see you, 
I remember Neruda, Cummings,
And Shakespeare, 
How they’ve written of rubbish, 
When all you got to say 
(when statuary, right in front of you) 
Is that: "Show your smile, my love.” 
Then there was poetry.

I’ve thought of your very origin. 
I’ve thought of God’s breath, 
And how breathing affects people. 
If we are to be inhaled back 
Through His nostrils, 
Then let me go with you. 
Let us go home, together, 
Breathing.

I’ve thought… of the love… of Christ. 
I was lost and now was found, 
You found me. 

I’ve thought of finding you 
More than missing you, 
And yet 
I still miss you. 
I remember… 
I remember how this woman 
Looked like 
When she was singing… 
…for God.

© 2012 J.S.P.